Where is Jacob Rees-Mogg? For weeks, TV programmes have been bereft of his pompous tones. Ever since the Leader of the Commons implied that the Grenfell fire victims were to blame for their own deaths, he has been missing in action, and rumours have circulated that he has been put on the naughty step for fear he will derail the Conservative Party’s campaign completely.
But a Scram News investigation has narrowed down his whereabouts to six locations, using careful mapping tools and analysing his previous behaviour.
Here are all the places the minister could be hiding.
Sleeping in the House of Commons
Parliament may not be sitting but it is entirely plausible that Rees-Mogg is. Scram News believes could have decided to sweet-talk his way back into the House of Commons for a quick nap. Is this unlike him? No. Can we blame him? No. Who could resist those comfy wooden benches?
The 19th century
The majority of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s policies are Victorian. He doesn’t believe in abortion and voted against equal marriage.
In the run up to the election, a source told Scram News that Boris Johnson asked him to time travel to 1840s Britain to find some new ideas to stick in his manifesto. And now, given his unusual silence, we can only assume he has got stuck there.
Chatting with climate change deniers
Rees-Mogg has said that trying to solve environmental issues would take hundreds of years and doing so is a waste of money. Maybe he is cavorting with climate change deniers, meaning he is so far removed from reality that he has disappeared completely.
Munching with the far-right
In August 2013, Jacob Rees-Mogg spoke at a dinner event thrown by the far-right group, Traditional Britain Group. The group is against “enforced multiculturalism” and “political correctness” and supports heterosexual families as “the primary social unit”.
Other notable guests at their events have included disgraced Islamophobe and founder of the Brexit Party, Catherine Blaiklock, who announced that she and Katie Hopkins were in talks about setting up a new political party at Traditional Britain’s annual conference this year.
Rees-Mogg has said he “clearly made a mistake” in speaking to the group, but perhaps he’s been flirting with them once again.
Signing up for the Brexit Party
Rees-Mogg’s sister, Annunziata Rees-Mogg, is an MEP for the Brexit Party. All good Conservatives know that family values matter, so perhaps he has decided to join Farage’s ranks to spend more time with his nearest and dearest. After all, he backs Brexit and would get on with some of their own climate change deniers.
Prepping his niece for the election
But Annunziata Rees-Mogg is not the only relative of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s to get involved in the family business. Theodora Clarke, his niece, is standing to be elected as the MP for Stafford, after failing to be elected twice in Bristol East.
Stafford is a Tory safe seat so it looks like it will be third time lucky for Clarke, who lives in a cottage in Somerset owned by her uncle.
Nevertheless, Rees-Mogg is an old hand at being elected so he may have set up his cottage as a Tory boot camp for his niece.